Tuesday, July 31, 2007

adam eve and whoever you hate

eve - do you believe in god?

adam - nope, no god. i know there isn't a god.

eve pauses, silence, thinks, ring a ding, silence

adam - i know theres jesus, i believe in him, i know theres heaven saints angels...but no god. no one big supreme majesty...

eve- you don't have to believe you know..

pauses more, feels some ego being nudged.

adam - well, so many people take this god thing.. they tell you you believe in god and poof thats it, you get yourself into heaven, goodole one way ticket. and you find these people, cheats, thieves, cons, hypocrites, rapists, pimps, gangsters, slave drivers, bloodsuckers, murderers, corrupts, and and, they go okay yea i believe in god.. and poof! they're gonna be up there in promised paradise with you and me? sorry thats not the way it is...

eve- actually thats the way it is

adam raises eyebrow

adam - i tell ya, if i see the guy who killed my dad in heaven just cos he believes in god, i will kick his pussymouthbutthead back to earth or further.

eve - firstly, what makes you think you're going to heaven? and why would a christian kill anyone?

adams eyebrow is raised more...

adam - you mean even if i'm a good guy but don't belive in god i won't go to heaven?

eve - you can choose to accept christ as your lord. then you'll go to heaven

adam - ohhh okayy so i just have to accept him as my lord?

eve - yes

adam - so bastards can go to heaven cos they accept the lord, even if they murder and all... what about you?? you're such a bitch, you made me eat the fucking apple and i got kicked out of eden along with you, and you're not even fuckin'hot, i mean, i was ashamed of being nude and you being nude cos cos i mean you look at you, you're fuckin saggy, sure you're fair, but your boobs.. urggh..

eve- adam... you're no better with a receding hairline.

adam- but you fuckin'bitch ! you and that talking snake! i mean! a talking snake! you couldn't smell something fishy about a talking fucking snake! THAT ATE AN APPLE! which fucking snake eats apples!!!! you're the evil one you're not going to heaven.

eve- yes i am cos i accepted christ as my lord.

adam- well fuck all then, you make it sound so fucking crude. its like this guy, he wants to be voted for president okayyy and he doesn't give a rats ass whether you're mafia you're pimp, ho, prostitiute, corrupt, mass murderer...so long you give him a vote, you're good. wow! i'll tell you what eve.

eve- what?

adam walks away

eve - adam?

adam comes back with an uzi

eve - whats that?

adam- your ticket to heaven. i believe in christ, i choose him as my savior ok?

eve- thats great adam.

adam shoots eve, unloads a whole clip into her.

adam- thats for getting my ass kicked out of eden. i'll see you in heaven. bitch.


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